My first reaction to Dr Manmohan Singh’s announcement that he was going to step down after the elections was one of derision. I had admired Dr Singh for the longest time. An educated man ,many light years ago in the 1990’s , Dr S ushered in an economic revolution that greatly benefited most of us middle class Indians and our aspirations .He is also a Sikh. So when he became the PM, it was a wonderful feeling for me- as an Indian and as a Sikh.
Ofcourse, it did not take long for disenchantment to set in as Dr S sat mute and his party and cohorts raped and bled India royally. This time round, nothing he did (if he did anything at all) was right. I felt let down - as an Indian, as a Sikh. And wondered how any human being could be so depraved and so craven to be a puppet for so long. Even after it was evident that he commanded no power, no respect and certainly had few admirers. Had he no self respect at all? Did his family not advice him on this?
On second thoughts I empathise with him. We might have wanted him to behave differently, but he behaved like most of us do at some point in our lives. How many times have we been caught in uncomfortable positions? Unhealthy friendships that rob us of our self worth, disastrous marriages that we make excuses to live in, jobs and bosses that humiliate us and we continue to struggle in them, an unhealthy relationship with food that makes us like or hate food and brings on loads of problems?
In all those situations, we know we must walk away. After all, why would you stay in a relationship that sucks happiness from you, why be friends with people who betray you, why stay in a job that you work hard at and that brings you no joy? Why would you continue to abuse your body with food and alcohol when it can no longer bear it? We get robbed of our trust, faith, happiness, self esteem and even self respect. Instead of listening to the inner voice, we cling - cling to people who kick us, bosses who insult us, relationships that depress us, eating habits that make us sick.
Why do we do this?
Because of Compulsions. Compulsions of love, of greed, of need, of want, of fame.
Because of Hope. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day. That if we hang in there, we will be loved, respected, desired, wanted, appreciated. Hope that something will give.
We don’t know what Dr S’s compulsions are, or what he had hoped to achieve by hanging in there. Yes, he looks pathetic. Yes, we have lost respect for him. Yes, he should have known better, because a nation depended on him. Yes, he let us down.
But then we let ourselves down too. When we let other people walk over us, when we refuse to listen to the inner voice that is urging us to behave otherwise, when we make excuses to stay in relationships or jobs that are no-good, we betray ourselves and our loved ones.
I don’t hate Dr S so much anymore. He is only human. And I hope he will find his peace when he finally moves away from the situation that has not brought him fulfillment.
It is only human - to not know when to walk away or when to run - until it becomes too late!
