At 40, there is plenty of anxiety! Most of us are well on our way to the top rungs of the Corporate hierarchy and are making good money! And may buy a BMW and feel pleased as punch when a young wannabe looks our way (but frankly, she would like to see a younger dude).
We may joke and say that 40 is the new 30, but hello, deep down all of us are not so very happy about it! Menopause is looming large on the horizon and the bloody weight does not shift an inch no matter how much u exercise. Kids are growing up and the empty nest will become a reality only a few years from now. And wrinkles are supposed to showcase the events in our lives, but it is not a pleasant sight to see them and neither are the grey hair!Many job opportunities don’t look for someone in their 40s!
I read this piece some days ago and am looking for a way to rejoice being 40! And here it is - for all my friends who are 40 or going to be there in a while!
In mystic thought, 40 symbolizes the ascent from one level to a higher one and spiritual awakening.
When we mourn, we mourn for 40 days.
When a baby is born,it takes him 40 days to get ready to start life on earth.
When we are in love, we need to wait for 40 days to be sure of our feelings.
The Flood of Noah lasted 40 days and while the waters destroyed life, they also washed away all the impurities and enabled human beings to make a fresh, new start.
In Islamic mysticism there are 40 degrees between man and God.
There are 4 basic stages of consciousness and ten degrees in each, making 40 levels in all.
Jesus went into wilderness for 40 days and nights.
Muhammad was 40 years old when he received the call to become a prophet.
Buddha meditated under the linden tree for 40 days!
So apparently, you receive a new mission at 40, a new lease of life. And supposedly, there are no wrinkles or gray hair strong enough to defy the power of 40!
So go discover your mission, while I try and figure out mine!!!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
A Lazy Parent
I am one worrried parent today. Surrounded as I am by committed, zealous mothers and their super achiever kids, I feel I am failing in my maternal duty towards my kids. The only classes my kids attend are the ones in school, they have gadgets of all kinds, they watch loads of TV, they play on the computer all the time, they have not been deprived of any toy/clothing/object they have ever wanted, they eat junk and drink coke when they want and go for fancy holidays all the time.
Am I the lazy one here? I don’t know what they chat about with their friends on bbm or gmail or facebook. I don’t get up in the mornings and churn out goodies for their snack boxes. When their clothes become tight I realise they need new innerwear. And why am I a softie where they are concerned? Why can’t I force my will on them and get them to be excited about ‘something’,nay ‘anything’ in life? They have not found their groove yet and seem to be in no hurry to do so. They are nonchalant about comparison to other kids. They are not the top graders at school and are not competitive to want it either!
When I hear of kids who are committed to an activity or task, I start to get a headache. When I hear of kids who get up early morning and train for a game, even on weekends, I get palpitations. The Singh family seldom gets up before 11 and laze the day through.
And to excuse my laziness, I tell myself I am in a good space. My parents did not hover like helicopters over my head all the time. I had to do my own homework. Post school I was only in unstructured play. My best lazy summer days were spent in the company of a good book, a pack of crax and a bottle of campa-cola! Praneet’s favourite play was to fight a battle with the ants on his wall with his little water gun. My parents did not know of all my secrets with my friends and did not snoop on me. I did not go for any tuitions and did not learn to play any instrument.
And we turned out just fine. We did what was required and knew the limits of the freedom that we had been given to us. Finally, the responsibility of what we did was our own and no-one was to blame.
And the lazy me is going to give her kids just that childhood and hope that good things come off it. Will Udai become a computer whizkid? Will Nishna publish her first book as a teenager? Will they turn out to be good human beings and will they do well?Will they earn good money and find good life partners?
Who knows the answers to all this? All I know is that they will do everything they are destined to do! And in the meantime, we can all be happy and safe in our hugs, kisses, laughter, little secrets and lots of love!
Am I the lazy one here? I don’t know what they chat about with their friends on bbm or gmail or facebook. I don’t get up in the mornings and churn out goodies for their snack boxes. When their clothes become tight I realise they need new innerwear. And why am I a softie where they are concerned? Why can’t I force my will on them and get them to be excited about ‘something’,nay ‘anything’ in life? They have not found their groove yet and seem to be in no hurry to do so. They are nonchalant about comparison to other kids. They are not the top graders at school and are not competitive to want it either!
When I hear of kids who are committed to an activity or task, I start to get a headache. When I hear of kids who get up early morning and train for a game, even on weekends, I get palpitations. The Singh family seldom gets up before 11 and laze the day through.
And to excuse my laziness, I tell myself I am in a good space. My parents did not hover like helicopters over my head all the time. I had to do my own homework. Post school I was only in unstructured play. My best lazy summer days were spent in the company of a good book, a pack of crax and a bottle of campa-cola! Praneet’s favourite play was to fight a battle with the ants on his wall with his little water gun. My parents did not know of all my secrets with my friends and did not snoop on me. I did not go for any tuitions and did not learn to play any instrument.
And we turned out just fine. We did what was required and knew the limits of the freedom that we had been given to us. Finally, the responsibility of what we did was our own and no-one was to blame.
And the lazy me is going to give her kids just that childhood and hope that good things come off it. Will Udai become a computer whizkid? Will Nishna publish her first book as a teenager? Will they turn out to be good human beings and will they do well?Will they earn good money and find good life partners?
Who knows the answers to all this? All I know is that they will do everything they are destined to do! And in the meantime, we can all be happy and safe in our hugs, kisses, laughter, little secrets and lots of love!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Five Important Men in My Life!
Think about it... Most of our lives we are defined by the men in our families. I am Bakshi’s daughter, Praneet’s wife and Udai’s mother! Apart from these three men, there are other men who help me run my life and are critical to my mental, physical and emotional health.So here are the other 5 important men in my life
1. My bro-in-law - My bum-chum - the guy who boosts my ego the most! He thinks I am a great person and praises me at the drop of a hat. He always takes my calls! He is partial to me in any conflict and supports me through thick and thin! I can flirt endlessly with him without being misunderstood!
2. My driver - He is my Man Friday. He knows my schedule, knows what quantities of veggies and fruits to pick up and the music I like in the car. He selects and gets the bouquets made for all my friends for their birthdays. (Infact, hubby darling also gets him to get a bouquet for my birthday and anniversary!)The guy knows when to strike and ask for a raise or a holiday!
3. My trainer - He is relentless in trying to match my pursuit for losing weight. He also lends an ear to the inane conversation I make just to get through the training session. He knows how not to speak the truth and tell me that I have put on weight! He juggles his schedule for me and is always available.
4. The guy pals - A diverse bunch I value deeply! The strictly platonic friends who are there to see me through any minor or major crisis. Non judgemental and fond of me, these guys give me gyan and perspective on male and female behaviour! These are people I might share a hobby with and/or the friend I can match drink for drink and trust to be driven back home safe!
5. Males in the maid’s family - In order to keep peace at home, this group needs careful handling. So a cake on the son’s birthday or an advance when the husband asks for it is to be done asap. And these are the men I turn to when there is a conflict with the maid. I can trust them to make sure that my home runs smoothly at all times!
1. My bro-in-law - My bum-chum - the guy who boosts my ego the most! He thinks I am a great person and praises me at the drop of a hat. He always takes my calls! He is partial to me in any conflict and supports me through thick and thin! I can flirt endlessly with him without being misunderstood!
2. My driver - He is my Man Friday. He knows my schedule, knows what quantities of veggies and fruits to pick up and the music I like in the car. He selects and gets the bouquets made for all my friends for their birthdays. (Infact, hubby darling also gets him to get a bouquet for my birthday and anniversary!)The guy knows when to strike and ask for a raise or a holiday!
3. My trainer - He is relentless in trying to match my pursuit for losing weight. He also lends an ear to the inane conversation I make just to get through the training session. He knows how not to speak the truth and tell me that I have put on weight! He juggles his schedule for me and is always available.
4. The guy pals - A diverse bunch I value deeply! The strictly platonic friends who are there to see me through any minor or major crisis. Non judgemental and fond of me, these guys give me gyan and perspective on male and female behaviour! These are people I might share a hobby with and/or the friend I can match drink for drink and trust to be driven back home safe!
5. Males in the maid’s family - In order to keep peace at home, this group needs careful handling. So a cake on the son’s birthday or an advance when the husband asks for it is to be done asap. And these are the men I turn to when there is a conflict with the maid. I can trust them to make sure that my home runs smoothly at all times!
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