Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Prayer for Ojas Mehta

Ojas Mehta, a student of my kids’ school met with a terrible accident today. His condition is critical and we all pray that he makes it thru. What was a bad accident on the sealink became personal for me after I realised that it involved a school student.
I don’t know Ojas or his parents, but all day, my thoughts have been with them. For Ojas, it must have been another regular day to school. Did he kiss his parents bye, was there any conversation that happened? Maybe he was listening to the ipod, thinking about assignments or stuff to do with his friends at school. For the parents too it must have been an ordinary day...perhaps there was some anxiety that he was getting late!
How soon the world can turn topsy turvy! As parents, our worse fear is losing our child. Being a parent is a state of constant worry – worry about peer pressure, bad influences, grades, opposite sex, grades… .And underlying all this is the concern for their safety! We pray for their safety and hope none of us will see the day when anything untoward happens to the child.
No parent should go through what Ojas’ parents are going through today. Not because their child was at fault, but because of someone else’s error. It is heart-rending to think what their state of mind at this time is.
In all this distress, I am proud of the school. Mrs Ambani has been there with the parents providing support and the whole school community is praying for him! Ojas has youth on his side and I fervently hope that his strength and the strength of all the people’s prayers help him pull through!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Nobel Prize for Indians

That came as a surprise, but not an unpleasant one. It is amazing what hope one guy can bring with him. And what strong political will can bring about! YES WE CAN represents the new age mantra and raises hopes of a happier future for kids all over the world.
And then we have our Indian Politicians. YES WE CAN translates into so many actionable points for them , though I doubt if any of these will fetch them a place in civilised history!
YES WE CAN – make our families rich for generations by stealing all the money that belongs to the people of this country. So what if there is no public infrastructure – my family has land, houses, cars and pots and pots of filthy money!
- YES WE CAN create issues out of air – Marathi manoos vs rest of India, Tharoor twitting away, SRK getting held up at the airport. Who cares if Mumbaikars are struggling to get to work each day or women are unsafe in Delhi?
- YES WE CAN delay things that do not suit our purpose – Roti , Kapda aur Makaan for people, clearing out slums, building in time for the Commonwealth Games.
- YES WE CAN – create nuisance – Ram Sena that thought it was immoral of girls to go to a bar, MNS that can make powerful Karan Johar come to him instead of following the law of the land, MNS that threatens the OZ team.
- YES WE CAN be brazen about anything in this country – creating parks and statues for ourselves, our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters; flying business and first and throwing attitude, shutting the sealink for the lords of this country to pass thru, or inconveniencing all of delhi because we are unprepared for commonwealth games.
- YES WE CAN – keep quiet about things that may put us in a tight spot – so noone has the courage to tell the Thackerays to lay off, to demolish slums, to come down heavily on the bureaucracy that does not work.
- YES WE CAN use all public machinery for only our people. So, satellites, helicopters –the work were looking for one YSR Reddy, but there was nothing when Mumbai was attacked.
Obama got a nobel prize for raising hope! And regular Indians also deserve a Nobel Prize – for eternal hope. Hope that someday, we will have a government that performs, that there will be roti , kapda and makaan for all, that kids will learn in school, that there will be jobs and healthcare for all!
-

Celebrating Marriage

Karva Chauth is one of the only times I blatantly lie to my in-laws. They think I keep the vrat and I have little courage to tell them I don’t. Not that I don’t love Praneet or don’t want a long life for him or don’t want to demonstrate my love for him. But really, I don’t love him more on that day – rather I will hate him for being the reason I went hungry that whole day! I am happy to do it the year he is not travelling and keeps it with me, but food is too dear to me!
Anju had this wonderful take on Karva Chauth – she looks at it as a celebration of her marriage. For so many years you look for the right person to marry and then when you do, and Karva Chauth comes around, it is such a fun ritual. It breaks the monotony of another working day – you get mehndi put, buy new bright clothes and bangles , get up in the morning for sargi and start your day! There is Puja in the evening and that ritual makes you feel part of womanhood and helps connect with other women! Ofcourse, New Age women raise a toast to their husbands. Women bond big time with each other that day as well – bunches meet to play cards or go see a movie!
Then there are husbands like my father and brother in law and many friends, who also keep the vrat with their wives! That is so gracious of them!
But Anju made me realise that this is not about men! This is about women and the happiness that it brings to them. The ritual may have its roots in any tradition or superstition, but the feeling that one does it with is complete love..and therefore, I think a better celebration of marriage than the anniversary!
So Praneet darling, I will definitely do one of these two things next year – Either tell Mummy truthfully that I can’t keep the vrat, or will actually keep it for you!
Keep the gift ready in that case!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Jai Ho

We define Patriotism and national pride and identity in so many stupid ways! So if Pakistan lost the match in the last ball to Australia, it was a deliberate attempt to put us down. If Dhoni and team win the match, we are proud Indians. When Akshay Kumar gives his patriotic speech in Namastey London – oh the warming of punju blood! When SRK is detained at US, it is an insult to our national pride!!
But there was a true Indian moment last week at the special screening of Wake up Sid at Juhu PVR last week. As soon as the national flag came on screen, everyone shuffled on their feet and stood up. The flag was on the big purdah but there was a problem with the sound system. As we all stood, there was no music for the longest time. Then, a guy in the front screamed,’Come on guys, lets sing it!’There were some giggles and some embarrassment. A few people started singing the National Anthem and within seconds, all joined in! It was amazing! Everyone was standing upright and singing loudly. There was no music to drown out the voices – shrill, soft, in tune or out of it! And at the end of it, perhaps we were all so overwhelmed by ourselves that all of us started clapping and there were cheers of Jai Ho all around.
This was so different from when we were kids – it was so uncool to know Hindi or sing the national anthem – I mean who was happy about being an Indian in India? NRIs had money, clothes and all fancy stuff, there was no McDonald’s or colour TV and the only revolution on the road was the Maruti car.
But this high I came back with got punctured promptly when I came back home. 11 year Daughter dearest informed me that Bollywood was not her type and neither was Bollywood music! Huh! And I thought this generation was different!
Or maybe we become patriotic only as we grow older!!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Men at 40!

Ever noticed men at 40? They are a class apart. I am not sure if there is something called male menopause, but they sure get hit by mid-life crisis harder than women do. By forty, most men are ‘arriving ‘in life – in terms of career and money! But one fine morning they wake up and the mirror throws back the image of this overweight, balding/ salt and peppered hair individual. Indian Men (despite what the matrimonial columns might say! ) are hardly good looking when they are younger. But at 40, they can see themselves truly for what they!
At the gym, the poor guys huff and pant with weights. They face stiff competition from the younger crowd there. At the park, you can see many 40 pluses, running with their jiggly jelly bellies in front of them. They learn the art of good posture so that inches can be cut off. They join the queue at the dietician , visit beauty parlours for facials , pedicures and hair dye! They change their wardrobes and start wearing linen and funky fabindia clothes.
But there is definitely one place they seem to win hands down. There is actually a class of women that find these men attractive. The nubile young PYTs at office. For the PYTs , these guys have it all – money, fame and a powerful position..and that is a powerful aphrodisiac! And the attention they give these powerful men is unbelievable! It gives these men a fresh lease of life – they preen in the attention and become larger than life!
Watch any 40 plus man next to you!! And have fun!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Happy Teacher's Day

On Teacher’s Day I asked my kids if they wanted to take flowers for their teachers at school. They thought and said no. Then (possibly prompted by Praneet) they told me that I was their first teacher, so Happy Teacher’s Day to me!
And cheesy as it was, I thought it was true. My mom is my constant teacher. From hygiene lessons like potty training and bathing, to biology lessons about the birds and the bees, chemistry lessons on the art of boys and cooking, Newton’s laws as apply to karma and religion, storytelling and family values, Mom has done it all. And despite the fact that I am a mom now, she still is my life teacher. She is the one who constantly harasses me to do more, to work and to have a high self-esteem.
And I guess almost all of us feel like that about our moms! Even good old Mama’s Indian boys!
So, I will go and buy myself that bunch of flowers that Praneet did not buy me for Teacher’s Day!!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Who is a VIP??

I am feeling a little short-changed. I was born in the wrong country (am brown), in the wrong social class (middle class) , to the wrong parents (my parents are not politicians) , married the wrong guy (does not own a billion dollar business ) chose a wrong career (was forced to study) and am not good looking, sexy or slim. That effectively means that I will never be a VIP ! Such a wasted life!!
These are India’s VIPs….
1. The mai – baap – the politicians. They have the right of way, everywhere. Roads are cleared for them, flights delayed for them and newspaper articles that criticize them are quashed. They are super rich and the whole police force works for them. Until, they lose power. You really think Rahul Mahajan‘s addiction would have made it to news if his dad was still alive?
2. The film-stars – SRK is detained at Newark and even Ambika Soni reacts. SRK is ofcourse top of the rung, but even if you are an Amrita Rao, Ashish Choudhry, Neha Dhupia, you will get a special escort to Lalbaug Cha Raja and Siddivinayak temple. Not to mention good restaurant seats, special service at parlours and shops and VIP seats at kids’ school functions. And Shiney Ahuja is not a VIP; else he would never have been arrested on rape charges.
3. The Goras – It will be only a matter of time before they become our true masters again. At the airport , the custom guy will simper at the Gora and let him thru, while you are asked to lug the heavy bags thru the x-ray machines again. The Gora will get better service at a restaurant, theatre and the local grocery store. And in our own country can turn around and snub us down.And we explain it away by saying ‘athithi devo bhav’. But this does not apply to blacks and yellows who visit our country. Only to Hillary didi and hottie Angelina Jolie!
4. The models –check out the dudes who come to the gyms. At Leena Mogre’s, you know there is a minor VIP when Ms Mogre comes to the gym early in the morning and clucks over the VIP. And these VIPS do not take gym membership but their presence is supposed to ensure that the gym’s membership will increase. And the makeup is full on for photo-ops!
5. The dieticians/ personal trainers who help stars – Boy, that is the new generation of VIPs! They titter on TV, give knowledgeable interviews on TV and charge thru the roof for consultancy. And if you are a menial mortal like me, paying that much money will not ensure any service! Check out what Rujuta Diwekar charges now after Kareena Kapoor made her famous!
6. The big corporate giants – There is nothing that these BIG guys cannot get. They have body guards, film stars and politicians who fawn over them! And you would do well to follow their escorted cars in peak traffic. The traffic police will salaam you towards speedier return home! They get special escorts at airports with all the officials falling all over them for alms.
7. The ‘slumdogs’ – They can stare at you with impunity and strip you naked with their blatancy. They can brush past you and make lewd gestures. But you will not want to take a panga with them.Coz they can molest, rape, throw acid and/or kill you!
Please God, in my next birth, change some of my circumstances so I can also be a VIP!!!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Being Preeti Bakshi

When I was unmarried, I rather loved my surname! And when it was time to get married and take a new name, I was quite upset! Why should I have to change everything? Change the way I dressed, shift my loyalties from my parents to my new family and to top it all, change my name too! I protested, and Praneet being the sweet gentle soul he is, did not insist. My dad kept asking me to change my name, because it would make life easier for me – for passport and other documents.
But how would I include my maternal surname? Preeti Singh Bakshi meant that Praneet’s surname came in the middle and Preeti Bakshi Singh did not sound right! Anyway, since I was still working, I went with Preeti Bakshi most of the places, until I started feeling a little sorry for Praneet. Every time I was travelling and he would call me in the hotel, they would connect him saying, ‘Mr Bakshi is calling!’ So eventually, I gave it up after some months and settled down to being Preeti Singh.
Preeti Bakshi, for me is a time, when I was footloose and fancy free, the beloved daughter of my parents whose needs always came first. Preeti Singh is an adult (??), a wife and a mom (a crazy one), a home-maker (not very good, but still responsible for her family’s well being, first and foremost!).
And then, the other day, I received a courier from my parents – and they had addressed it to Preeti Bakshi. And I realized that my email ID is also saved as Preeti Bakshi in their address books.
This one act pleased me like no one’s business – While I love being Preeti Singh, I am still the same old Preeti Bakshi!! And that too for my Dad, who was most insistent that I change my surname! Love you Dad for keeping me alive!!

Friday, August 28, 2009

On the Tulsi Pipe Road

With the coming of the Worli sea link, I stopped taking the TP to office. Until yesterday when I had to. I was amazed to see the art on the walls along the rail track – all kinds of colour and themes…check it out. It is quite cool and brightens up the whole space.
And I also realized that even if the sea link has opened and the traffic on the TP declined, as has business for the tea and pao and kiryana guys, there is one class of people that is in business.
That’s our dear Mumbai Police.
So that you don’t get nostalgic about the traffic on the TP and think about the good old days of pre-sealink time, the Mumbai Police has graciously set up nakabandhi all along the TP road. So, you still sit in the car, watch the familiar exciting sights from the window, worry about getting late for the important performance meeting , wonder why there is so much traffic and this massive jam, and then come to the nakabandhi. Nobody is watching your car, nobody is watching any car! The police are either sprawled in their van or lounging along the other cars parked there. Some are on the phone, some with the glass of tea in their hands and some are busy chatting. At the most, there is a scooter or bike that has been stopped and the guys are wheedling with the police with a silly smile on their faces.
That’s it! That is the reason you just wasted expensive fossil fuel, got late for the important meeting that could decide your next promotion and incentive and fretted so much.
But, like all good things, status quo should be maintained!!! So aamchi Mumbai Police – Jai Ho!

Just a little bit…..

It takes so little to please us! We travel abroad and when we see the infrastructure,we are often overwhelmed by it! And crib and whine that this bloody Indian government should invest in infrastructure and all bloody Indians should have civic sense!
But the Worli sea link arouses a kid’s delight in me! It feels so awesome to get onto the bridge and feel that you are on the sea. As Udai puts it ‘You are out there with nothing on either side of you, held only by strong steel ropes’! It is lovely to watch the waves lash the columns and I have even dreamt of being on the bridge in high tide and waves washing over my car! The Mumbai skyline looks gorgeous and you can discover places that were hitherto hidden from view. Is that big structure near the sea in Worli, a remnant of an old fort? The fishing boats bobbing up and down look so nice as do the clothes that are drying out on the rocks near the Worli end.
And then I feel – Life is about these things – the first Maruti car hitting the Indian Roads, the first colour program on the colour TV , the first war coverage on CNN that we saw, the first soap operas, the first metro in Delhi, the first time a MCD opened and the first multiplexes. We still have the capacity of being overawed by these things. And that keeps us grounded!!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

changing the blog name

I had tried to create a blog account sometime last year. I dont remember when, but am assuming it was a time when I must hve been pissed about something. Therefore, Preeticares. It s a testament to my tech unsaviness that I could not find the blog for months thereafter. So, this time round, when I tried to create a blog, up came the preeticares blog. Was really cheesy and in no way reflects my current state of mind, where i want to whine about everything...so have changed the name to Preetiwhines!

Do you know who I am?

Bigger celebrities than SRK are ofcourse our politicians. Kissi ke mazal ki unko kuch kahein? And each one looks like a bigger goon than the other. Look at Mayawati, Narayan Rane and Sharad Pawar and you know what I mean. They may not be concerned about mango people like us, but they have their positions to manage and many psychophanatic (is there a word as this?) to carry out in order to keep their kursis.
On my recent visit to LA, I happened to meet up with a very old friend of mine,HK. She is of Indian origin but been there from her grandparents times. She works as a Federal Agent . I could not understand much of what she does, but she narrated this very interesting ‘celebrity’ episode.
Seems every time there is an Indian political delegation there, HK is also roped in because of her Indian origins. She spoke about the humble natures of Dr Manmohan Singh (who is really good natured and always before time for meetings) and Pranab Mukherji (who is very unassuming and refuses to add on family for security cover and other benefits when he visits the US).
Sonia Gandhi is a ‘rockstar’ and everyone wants to be with her! So there was this Press Conference and Sonia had already gone ahead. HK was escorting Pranab Mukherji up the stairs to the dais when she felt some one rudely trying to push her away. She looked back and there was good old bearded Mr Anand Sharma, desperately trying to get ahead to Sonia. So, this according to HK is the conversation
HK – ‘Please do not bump Sir’
Anand Sharma (AS) –Move off, I need to go ahead.
HK – I am sorry Sir, you need to follow the protocol.
AS – How dare you? Do you know who I am ?
HK – I don’t know who you are Sir, and I don’t care. Mr M is my protectee.
AS – Don’t get cheeky with me and move off.
HK – I am warning you Sir, Please stop bumping my protectee.
But, According to HK, AS did not give up. She was nervous that poor Pranab would fall off the stairs.So she elbowed him hard into his rib-cage. AS backed off then and HK was subjected to angry glares all the time.
And poor Anand Sharma – Sonia was there, but oh so far away! He lost some brownie points that day!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I know SRK!

I took Nishna for an ice-cream just after ‘Jab We Met’ had been released . There was Shahid with Sania having icecream. Now Nishna likes Shahid so I kind of whispered to her – ‘Look there is Shahid’. She was casual and when we came out of the shop, I thought she had not seen him. I asked Nishna if she did not see Shahid and she responded that she had seen him. So, I said, ‘You did not react Nishna’ . Nishna turned to me and said – ‘So Mom, it was only Shahid! What’s the big deal!
For this attitude of hers, I only have SRK and family to thank. As luck would have it , SRK’s son is my daughter’s classmate. And the world around her was terribly excited. On a visit to Delhi, one of our friends said to Nishna, ’So Nishna, you are in Aryan’s class?’ That day, I knew I had a rockstar on my hands, coz Nishna turned and disdainfully said, ‘No, Aryan is in MY class!’
For mere mortals like me, being on the fringes of celebrities has its own share of Cheap thrills. It makes for good conversation . All our class mom lunches invariably turn to the discussion on SRK and his family. And everyone around me assumes that I have so much knowledge on them!
Questions I am asked regularly - How are SRK and gang? (As if I meet them for any meals!). Is SRK a good father? (Well on the face of it!). Do Gauri and he look happy? (Well they have not confided in me, but on the face of it, they look happy!). Did he and Juhi have something going on? (Hmmm)
I also strut a bit and knowledgably give out some information – SRK is so involved with his kids -he is there for every PTM and function. He is so unaffected – he does not try to attract attention to himself – someone from the school actually attempts to give him a good seat! SRK behaves so nicely with the kids! Just a regular father! Ha! Howzzat!!
When she was younger, Nishna was terribly upset that SRK died at the end of Kal Ho Na Ho. And she was shocked out of her wits when she saw him at school. She was petrified that she had seen a ghost.
It was a task to help her understand the difference between real and reel life. Why SRK could be a lover boy in one movie and why he can hug and kiss women other than Aryan’s mom on the screen? Why SRK the dad is a different person from SRK the actor! Why they have bodyguards? Why it is not cool for her to ask him for an autograph? Why some teachers suck up to SRK and his kids – to help her understand that they do them more harm than good. Why SRK and his kids may have a life that is not envious!
The upside of being on the fringes of celebrities has been that my kids are completely un-enamoured by the ‘celebrity’ crowd! Tough to be I guess, when you grow up with those kids and they are no different from you. But she has to contend with friends from other cities and schools who all have a crush on AK! Boy! He is already a rockstar!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sharukh Khan and my travails

First day of school and all the new parents and kids are standing outside, waiting for kids to be taken into the school. Suddenly, there is a hush and then a mother close to me mentions ' Wow, that is Gauri Khan! So SRK's kids are also in this school. ' All eyes on GK and the son. The mom next to me wonders what class the kid will be in! And gasps when she realises that the SRK's kid is in her son's class! You can already see happy dreams in her eyes! My son and Aryan! Gauri and Me! SRK and me!!
Reading all this news about SRK , makes me want to write my own experiences of living on the fringes of celebrity hood.My kids go to the same school as SRKs so there are many episodes that are delightful..embarrassing but funny, and some that raise my hackles too!
So I am going to pen down these episodes..moms who recognise themselves, please do not fret!!