Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Emperor of All Maladies




‘My  tumour is malignant’, texted Rano to me , on that fateful day of 28th April,2012, and my brain went in a shut down mode. I knew many cases of cancer around me, but the self-indulgent me never ever thought this disease would hit so close home. My baby sister? The one I have always fiercely protected - and bullied?
Today, Rano is done with her 16th and last chemotherapy session, and there is a sigh of relief from all of us. The journey to full recovery is not yet over - another 8 months of treatment, but the scourge of chemos is done. 
With the worst behind us, I am permitting myself to open this door a little. A montage of Rano in the initial days -  her incredible fear and the tears that would never stop. Her caressing the pictures of her kids and trying to smile and being brave when they returned from school. Her stress when we met  lots of doctors to find the one she would be comfortable with. Her horror when we first went to Tata Memorial and saw so many cancer patients. And her faith that Dr Badwe would be the one for her. 
And it did not help that none of us knew how to react. Manish, the ever cheerful, crazy Jiju of mine lost his smile overnight. My mother, who can make the world cry broke down when we went to Tata Memorial Hospital. I was horrified to see Mama so forlorn - even through the worst that life doled out, my mother has had her chin up. My Dad was shaken in Nigeria and so alone with his pain coz Mom flew in to be with Rano; he would never stop crying. I remember late night conversations between Paras and me trying to make sense of the madness - both of us were cheerful and happy in front of everyone else. And the calm Praneet, who tried to be there for most of the chemos and brought peace to the hysteria with his gentleness. 
I don’t know how my incredible sister has pulled through this. Through her two surgeries, through the horror of seeing herself change in the mirror as the chemos piled on the weight and took away her hair and through so much sickness that she could not get out of bed for days.
But I think she did it because she is truly God’s Chosen One. Her blessings are so many. Her cancer got detected just when her cells kicked into a hyperactive mode. Dr Badwe heads up the immense Tata Memorial Hospital, and took to Rano as if she were his own. He operated upon her when he himself was down with a spinal injury, has ensured that she can walk into his office without an appointment, messages her with ‘Hakuna Matatas’ when she is down and is there to handle even her silliest queries. Likewise with her oncologist who is there with her support - night and day. The nurses in Tata Memorial love her and make sure she is comfortable during her chemos and come and chat with her all the time. 
She is blessed with incredible friends. Her friends call in from all over the world every single week and on chemo days pep her over bbms. Her friends in Mumbai would drop what they were doing and rush to her if they thought she sounded low. 
Random strangers shower blessings on Rano - by not making her wait , by letting her skip a line without her asking for it, by even giving her the fish and vegetables they have selected for themselves. 
Blessed with her househelp who has not taken a leave, put in long hours of work, not complained because the load on them is so much. 
But most importantly Rano is blessed to be the daughter of my parents. My parents put aside every need of theirs to nurture their daughter back to health. Mom has watched her like a hawk and if Rano’s counts remained good and she did not succumb to any infections, it is because of Mom. With her positivity Mom has made sure Rano had very few weepy days. She ensured that Rano wore beautiful clothes, wore make-up , watched happy movies, listened to songs and ate well at all times! Dad managed alone with his health issues in Nigeria, and came to India every month to be with his favourite child. 
Manish has been incredible in his support and love for Rano. His life turned upside down , but my Jiju loves Rano more than ever - and has denied her nothing. With his being around her, Paras gives Rano strength everyday. And Praneet has been her anchor - with his calm and cool head!
Her illness taught me valuable lessons - That we are blessed with incredible families that love us so much. That there is no point seeking affection and attention from people who don’t care about you. That this is your life - so Carpe Diem - live each day on your terms. And there is nothing stronger than your own mind, so train it well. 
I am waiting for my beautiful sister to heal completely. So we can begin to have all the fun we have been planning for these few months. So she can go back to work and be the cracko professional she is. So that my little nephews can hug and horse around with their mother again and their stories will not have ‘cancer’ as the chief protagonist in them again. So Nishna can tell her all her secrets again and she will become Udai’s Enemy No 1 once again. So Manish can rag her endlessly and her house will be full of laughter and happiness again! 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Following My Nose





Of all the senses that I use to connect with people, it is the olfactory that is the most significant for me. Which is why, Rani Mukherji , sniffing like a dog whenever her love interest was nearby in Aiyyaa , riled me because it was so disgusting and tackily done. 
When I was young and got sent to the hostel, I would try to hold on to the smell of my mother as she hugged and kissed me goodbye. I would rub my cheeks against hers and snuggle real close so I could carry her smell with me. I would not wash my face or take a bath in the hostel  - and it got me into a whole load of trouble with the prefects who once scrubbed me out with Surf. 
My children smell the most wonderful in the world. At night when I tuck them into bed, and in the morning when they wake up, I love to inhale deeply and smell their warmth. That smell is indescribable, something like a warm chocolate-vanilla cookie perhaps, but it soothes me, and tells me all is well in my world.
I like to smell the people I love without perfumes and deos. I like how they smell in the hollows of their necks and in the insides of their wrists . I inhale, inhale , inhale to remember. 
I am bothered when I don’t remember how someone I love/ loved smells. When I can’t find a smell association with that person. It is upsetting in a manner that I can’t describe. 
And  it does not matter to me if someone I like has a strong body odour - if I like/love the person, I am ok with the smell. Ofcourse, once in a while, I am tempted to gift a friend a deo or perfume to drive home the message, but really I am not so bothered.
 And by the same  yardstick, if I don’t like the person I cannot bear the way the person smells, or the perfume the person wears  -it nauseates me. And I try to not be physically anywhere close to the person, because the smell overwhelms me!
I associate certain fragrances with people I love. Anais Anais reminds me of the softness of my mother ( though she stopped using that fragrance years ago), Narcisco Rodriguez is my beautiful sister and Pears soap is always my lovely Nani. The yuck Simco hair fixer smelled just right on my grand-dad and I loved to smell it on him. 
Inhale  and follow my nose - it never fails me!!