An 'Alone ' Holiday

Praneet is a  loving indulgent husband, but there are two things he is not happy gifting me - flowers and diamonds. So I negotiated that on my birthday he could gift me a holiday - all by myself- at a destination of my choice.  Prague it was this year , with the added incentive of running the Prague Half Marathon with my friend stationed in the city. 

The run was a nightmare-with a knee that gave up on me, and the timing chip being taken away  because I was not going to hobble to the finish line in under 3 hours. But the holiday was a dream come true!

 I am a good mom and a decentish wife, but  for those few days in Prague, I was simply me. And while I missed my kids, thought of what was happening back home, and shopped for them, I was pretty much at peace. I knew Praneet would schedule his work to spend more time with the kids, that they would cook together or order-in  and would have fun without me nagging them to clean up, study and do this and that!

Pure liberation.  I didn’t have to draw up a schedule to please the kids and husband. I ate wherever I felt like without worrying if the place was clean, or if the kids would like the food. I ventured to see things I want to - spending the whole day at the Castle, standing on Charles Bridge and unabashedly watching people , or merely sitting at a cafe on the road, sipping coffee or beer and reading on my Kindle. It took a bit of courage to walk up to people to request them to take a picture of me! 

I got lost while walking to places, and in the process discovered new offbeat things. I rode different trams to soak in the city.  I struck up conversations with random people - on the tram, at the bar, in the church, and just had fun listening to them. I ate all kinds of street food, browsed in local grocery stores to figure how the locals live,  and tried on clothes that looked horrendous on me! Took pictures of things that caught my attention. Got a massage, a haircut - stuff I would never do on a family holiday!

I unlearned a few things. Like habits that I have acquired because of co-dependency in a marriage. At the check-in counter, I had to remember to fill out all the immigration and custom forms, and ask for the boarding pass for the connecting flights.Or remember to buy and swipe the tickets in the tram. Withdraw or exchange currency.  Even pack my own bag because I am terrible at it and depend on Praneet to organise it for me. 

I did not ‘discover’ myself. Or find solutions to my ‘existential’ questions. Or find a story that fired my imagination.Hell, I did not even bother thinking about things that were stressful for me. Most of the times, my mind was a blissful blank. 

Traveling alone did not mean there were men lurking in bars, or on street corners, looking for a quickie.  I did not find handsome Czech men to hit on, and no one hit on me. Instead I found graciousness ,friendliness and loads of tips on what to do in the City. 

I came back happy, relaxed and refreshed. Delighted to walk into my home, and to be hugged by my daughter who said,‘Mom, we missed you. You make this a home!’ To be back in the fold of the ones who hold my heart, and reaffirm that this is my beautiful world- with the people I love the most. 

I think, every woman should take a holiday all by herself. It is refreshing and therapeutic.  In all that we do for our loved ones, we tend to forget ourselves and put our needs on the back-burner. There should be no guilt to spend time with ourselves, connect back with our own selves, and to be reminded that we can be happy in our own company. 

My one lesson -I would prefer a holiday to diamonds -any given year now!! And methinks Praneet will rue being intransigent on not gifting me flowers - because flowers would be cheaper than the holiday he will end up sponsoring every year!!

When dirty politics came home….

What if Odisha was Delhi? What if it was not a far flung state that only sends 21 MPs to the Lok Sabha? Then, like Arvind Kejriwal and his AAP, PM Mohapatra and his OJM would also make headlines. 

I don’t know PM Mohaptra all that well, though is daughter is my best friend. Is he corrupt? I can’t say that, but what I have seen of the family over decades makes me think he is not. His kids got no benefits of their father being one of the most powerful people in Odisha - they have studied , got jobs and done well on their own accord. They all live lives that they have created from their own hard work. None of his children own vast tracts of land in Odisha or any businesses that would have made them billionaires (like many other politicians and their kids). 

When Biju Pattnaik died in 1997, his son Naveen Pattnaik took over as the CM of Odisha. A novice not comfortable speaking Oriya, and who was a connoisseur of finer things in life, Naveen’s first days in politics were not rosy. That was when his mother called PM, her husband Biju’s confidant and exhorted him to help Naveen.  For the first few years, PM was not part of BJD. He only functioned as Naveen’s mentor and guide. A sort of Chanakya you might say and he was instrumental in helping Naveen win the past three elections. 

In politics as in life, there are no permanent friends . And usually the people you trust the most are the ones who stab you in the back. On May 29th, 2012 PM received a call from  Naveen who was in London. Naveen asked him if he was preparing to overthrow him. PM remarked,’Do you believe that?’

Clearly Naveen did. He got edgy by vested interests whispering in his ears that PM wanted his job and would lead a coup.This because he was exhorting Naveen to make a real difference in Odisha so that it would move up from its abysmal position as the most backward Indian state. As PM remarks ,‘the difference between the father and son is stark. The real reason Biju Pattnaik trusted me was because I spoke the truth without fear. Naveen does not seem to have that strength of character’.

PM was suspended and then expelled from the party, and blamed for embezzlement of funds to the tune of Rs.500 crores. Distraught and angry as he was, PM refused overtures from national parties who wanted him onboard to wrest control from Naveen Pattnaik. I asked him once if he would speak to Naveen to clarify his position, because clearly he had been misinformed. His reaction was a resigned shrug,’I cannot explain anything to a person who is hellbent on misunderstanding me.’

It was quite incredible to watch political machinery in action. I have been amused, unnerved, angry and consumed with helplessness in equal measure.

 Overnight, PM’s house was surrounded by Naveen’s men. They watched closely to see who came to give him support. Then, systematically approached those people and threatened them to stay away from PM. The phone lines were tapped and every piece of information was relayed to Naveen Pattnaik. The family was unnerved because they did not know when or where they might be hurt. PM refused to move to Delhi despite the fact that he was also a Rajya Sabha member then.

I know PM this much - what he looked forward to most was spending time with his young grandkids, and that is what he planned to do. Perhaps, it was the threat to his family that changed his mind, but PM decided to start his own party and to not live in a state of constant fear. So came OJM into being.

The single agenda for Naveen and his chamchas has been to not let PM make inroads into Odisha. And when you rule a state , you can get away with murder. 

The first person to join the OJM was declared a Naxalite and jailed. As was the General Secretary of the new party on paperwork issues. 

 From stalling the registration of their party symbol, to creating roadblocks so that OJM could not hold rallies, to even coercing the local media from blacking out any OJM activity - Naveen Patnaik has done it all. The local media was allowed to attend PM’s rallies, but were not allowed to report anything. One TV channel owner who made the mistake to showing a balanced review of Naveen and PM was jailed, ostensibly because of his other businesses. 

Did that dissuade the 75 year old PM Mohapatra? No. He wore his bullet proof vest, took trains without an entourage and campaigned in Odisha interiors, and in the main cities. If there were road blocks, his people came on motorcycles. If TV and print gave into coercion, the social media was active. 

While most of us are horrified with the dirt that Mr Mohapatra and his supporters face on a daily basis, he has remained calm and unfazed. Any betrayal and loss of trust he feels is carefully hidden, as he goes through each day, intent on running the elections to make a difference to Odisha. 

When Naveen realised that PM had made inroads despite all the road blocks, it bothered him a lot more. So, he and his party reached out to every major industrial house in India, who have any business interest in Odisha and clearly communicated to them that they were free to donate, contribute to any political party other than OJM. If any funds were given to OJM, there would be trouble for the concerned company. And who wants to not have a stake in Odisha, with its rich resources? 

So the funds essential to run the elections dried up for OJM. One of the largest opinion poll firms refuse to add OJM to their list because they were not paid the Rs. One Crore that they demanded. 

I salute Mr Mohapatra. Any one else would have quit and withdrawn. He did not. Friends, family and well-wishers have  rallied to give funds to the party, and Mr Mohapatra mortgaged his ancestral house as well. We joke with him that he should have used the funds he had supposedly embezzled. 

Despite all the muck and carpet bombing and cornering PM, I am pretty sure he will win seats in the elections. Not enough to form the government or topple it. But I hope he will make an interested opposition to drive real change in the most backward state in India. 

Even if PM did not win any seats, he will not have lost.  Any person with courage and his heart in the right place can never be a loser. Through all this dirty politicking, Naveen Pattnaik and his party have not been able to question Mr Mohapatra’s integrity and honesty. To me, that stands for something. 

In a Utopian world, real democracy would exist. Voters would be an informed class who would choose the best people to become their representatives in the Parliament. These representatives would have a morally high calibre and they would work to ensure that the society benefited from their actions. There would be a worthy opposition that would maintain the requisite checks and balances.

But India is definitely not Utopia. Mr Mohapatra will not lose because he will have done his job in ensuring that democracy is not subverted. And I bet there are many more stories across India of people like PM Mohapatra! We should be proud of them!!