Har Ek Dost Zaroori Hota hai

The new Airtel ad ‘Har ek dost zaroori hota hai’ set me thinking on how true that is! Especially at this stage in my life when I have hit my 40s, when I don’t have free access to my peer group as I did in school and college and when my identity is defined as Nishna and Udai’s mother and as Praneet’s wife.

Now I value more than ever all the friends I have. Those, that are mine alone - because of work, college or school; those that are mine because their kids are friends with my kids and those who are friends with both my husband and me.

Some of these tug at my heart, some agitate my nerves, some make me want to disappear but they are all important and serve a definite purpose in my life!
And when I die, I hope all these friends of mine are still around and will get drunk on my funeral!

And no, like most good dedicated Bhartiya Naaris, my husband is NOT my best friend. He is not my friend either. He is my anchor, the wind beneath my wings, the needle that bursts my happiness balloon , the Cancerian water that puts out my Arien fire . He is my life - but friend - no chance! (he will sponsor the drinks on my funeral though)!

Some are my sounding boards and who I can share all my secrets with.These friends are non-judgemental about me, simply because they have either known me long enough or because they understand and love me tons.

My gossip girls and boys. I can use them to pass on messages to people that are not very pleasant. These friends will ofcourse also gossip about me at the first opportunity.

The critical friend -for whom nothing I can ever do is right and will criticize everything I do. The critic’s approval is one I seek and this helps me re-invent myself time and again.

The Jugadu friend who I can depend on - to get me a new assignment or job, a maid or anything mundane as well. This resourceful person is terribly well networked and seeks nothing in return.

The I-me-myself friend who can only talk about herself and her life. I truly relax in her presence coz I can shut my mind and enter into a meditative state, reflecting on things that are important to me.

My needy friend makes me feel special because I can make him/her feel better by talking them through the problem. I play different roles-of the bitch, the mother, the confidant and the planner with them.

The gyaani friend who is not much older than me but is a know all and helps me find answers to problems.

The young enthu cutlet friend who makes me feel like I am re-living my youth all over again. I enjoy the experiences of this friend and live vicariously through them.

The supercool friend whom nothing ever fazes and who does not shy away from rejection in order to achieve the goal.

The dedicated mom type who comes to my rescue when my kids and I are clueless about holiday, exam and homework schedules.

The chipku friend- who does not know where to draw the line, how to take no for an answer and who does not understand personal space and property. Bugging, but one I can always count on being there for me.

The celebrity friend whose name I can drop and get free access to privileges.

My naughty friend who has the courage to live life on her terms and experience it in the manner that defies societal logic. I admire her spunk and courage, while I worry about her too.

The troubled friend who makes me thank God ever single day for giving me a good life.

The rich socialite friend who makes me realise that I look like a misfit in a LV bag and Jimmy Choo shoes and that I am grateful to my parents who pushed me to study and work.

The loudmouth who likes being the centre of attraction wherever we go. I cringe in embarrassment but we get the best table at a restaurant or the best bargains because of this friend.

The Kanjoos friend whose wallet never surfaces after a meal together and the generous friend who is always ready to pay for everyone.

The Selfish friend who surfaces when there is something required from me. Blatant , but atleast I know where I stand!

The Facebook friends who I seldom meet but who add cheer to my life every single day.

The male friend who makes me feel young, happy and wanted by just harmlessly flirting with me.

The gym friends who praise my weight loss and stamina and make me feel good.

The book club friends with whom I can share what reading means to me, without anyone rolling up their eyes!

The bro-in-law who is the best gift my sister gave me by getting him into the family.

And the siblings I have who are my bestest friends forever!