Arranged to Marry

An arranged marriage - rather when you are ‘arranged’ to meet and decide to get married can be a whole load of fun and a pain in the ass too. 

From December of 1994 to June 4th 1995, when I finally set my eyes and heart on Praneet , I met some 40 prospective grooms... and I joke not.And it was not only my family, but my extended family, friends of my parents and uncles and aunts, the neighbours and my bosses at Ranbaxy who were all involved in the drama of finding a suitable match for Preeti Bakshi. 

 The learnings that stand upmost in my mind are 

1. Most hatte-katte serds have weird ‘pet’ names - So I have met a Happy, Sukhi, Lucky, Lovely, Babloo, Pappu , Sonu, Monu and u name it. ( Made me swear that my son  would have no such lovey name!) 

1. All matrimonial columns in India are lies. If you believe them, ALL Indian men should be handsome and good looking and earn 5-6 figure salaries. I am sure they are good looking - to their parents’ eyes, coz I sure as hell found them very unappetising. 

1. And even if the boy girl ratio in India is skewed in favour of boys, there are really very few eligible men out there. 

1. No matter how well educated I was, and how great a job I had, the key selling points were  that I was a good cook and home maker, was very fond of kids,  could read the Gurbani, had excellent family values and that it was upto the largesse of my prospective in-laws to let me work or not!! Ofcourse it helped that I was fairly OK looking and slim - but the same yardstick did not apply to the guy.

Oh! how these things used to gall me and every weekend would bring in a huge fight with my parents. On how they had to first meet the parents and the guy and only if he was suitable was I going to see him; On how I was not going to walk in with a tray of refreshments ; On how I was not going to go out on a walk with the guy if I rolled my eyes that I did not like him!!

I have had boys walk into my office to check me out - one was particularly dumb and on his way down in the elevator spoke excitedly about the impending honeymoon. Ofcourse, he had no idea that my Super Boss was in the lift , who promptly called me to his office and in his refined Bengali manner told me that this gentleman was unsuitable. 

Then there was an IRS officer, whose family refused to budge from the house till some commitment was made - I finally had to call my friends to come and take me out on an imaginary lunch!

Or the oily looking, dressed-in-all-white fellow, who hankered my Dad in his office to get me married to him. 

Looking back it sounds like so much fun, but week after week of meeting unappetizing men was very wearying. The thought of marrying any of these jokers was so horrifying that I was ready to join the order of the nuns! And it was equally tough on my parents, but I admire their tenacity and their instinct on who the right guy for me would be!

The day I was to meet Praneet, I cut my hair and caused immense heartburn to my parents. They had met Praneet’s parents and were very keen on this alliance. When they took off on me, I threatened that I would wear my glasses and jeans to meet the guy!! Pobre citas, they must have wanted to throttle me, but instead molly coddled me to dress up and so on! 

But Praneet was destined to be mine. Coz when I walked into the room and saw him, I knew he was what I wanted! 

And ofcourse, he claims his soft heart melted at my plight coz I was already 26 and I fell at his feet and begged him to marry me!! 

Ki farak painda hai!!