Praneet found a CD full of pictures of my birthday in 2008. Most were horrendous pictures really- of a plumper me with a shorter haircut ( killer ones that no blackmailer should ever get his/her hands on) .As I flipped through the pictures I saw many faces - of friends, and not friends anymore. There were a handful of people who, six years hence, are not in my life . Some that I threw out of my life by choice, some that chose to not be my close pals anymore .I looked at both of these groups and shrugged. I had gotten over the anger and mourned the loss in both these cases. What brought a strange feeling was another set of people. There were those in the pictures who are no longer part of my life...and I didn’t even realise when they had exited. They ceased to exist for me, and I didn’t even notice?
Just as the capacity of a human mind to not forget is great, so is the capacity to not remember. Else how do I explain how I forgot those friends? Forgot them so completely that it took a moment to register who they are. I mean - they were important enough for me once upon a time - that’s why they merited an invite to the party.We must have shared a few laughs, had a few drinks together, hung out for a while. And I have no clue, or rather, no memory of when we stopped being part of each other’s lives. Did we drift apart over a period of time? Or was there a moment when something went wrong? Did we move away because we befriended other people, or was it that our work schedules did not match anymore? Did we fight or not clear up a misunderstanding? For the life of me, I don’t know anymore. All I know is that if there was any pain , bitterness or anger - I don’t remember it. I do remember some snatches of the good times I had with them - like walking in Jogger’s Park, ordering chinese and biryani from little known joints and some gossipy morning calls and ginger tea. It felt nice to see them again, but there was no urge to re-connect once more.
The truth is - life moves on. And people come into our lives for a reason or a season. And then they leave. Some go in a blaze of anger or bitterness, and some ease off gently - so gently that one does not even realize it! You don’t miss them. You don’t think about them. It’s like they were never a part of your life.
What was heart warming for me however was this - the very same friends who I considered my soul mates, my parachutes, my safety nets then - are still in my life. While there may have been conflicts between us and huge fights because we did not agree with choices that the other made, we have stuck together. They are still the ones I call late night, hound on whatsapp and whose inboxes I flood with emails. They are the ones I can get sozzled with, share all my intimate secrets with - and they will protect me much as my mother would! They have stood beside me through my worst crises,have lent me their shoulders to weep, and slapped me on my face to help me get a grip. We have the courage to say what needs to be said, with utmost confidence in the strong bond we share. And even though we don’t stay in the same city anymore, and don’t talk on a daily basis, we are together. I hope my best friends will outlive me, and party at the Bollywood bash that Praneet will throw in gratitude of my earlier departure!
Now with this momentous cross continent shift, and the fact that I can’t hide anymore behind the pretext that I was busy settling us in and writing, it is time to make more new friends. Will these be Indians? Or people from other races/nationalities as well? Will these be parents of my kids’ friends? Or people I will meet in the course of work? I don’t know!
Yet, in a few years, I will get another reality check. On who will still be in my life, and who would have moved on. Except that now I know what to expect - and so will make sure that I master the art of posing for photo shoots so I look slim, sexy, beautiful….;-))
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