30s and 40s

Watched ‘Turning 30’ and it reminded me of  the time I turned 30. I thought it was the end of my life. I had popped two babies, my career was kaput , I was plump and oh so fatigued!! 

 In the 20s , you taste independence - you get educated, get a job and really begin to have fun. There is excitement  in sussing out potential boyfriends and husbands . There is heartbreak , but one is young and easily distracted. The thrill of earning your own money is tremendous and there is the enthusiasm and bubbliness of youth- you really feel you can change the world. 

30s are possibly the toughest years for a woman.Trying to manage kids, career and the sweet Indian husband. Life goes topsy turvy. There is guilt - guilt if you leave the career and stay at home to take care of kids. Guilt if you don’t.. Ofcourse, there is happiness, and joy, and pride and pleasure. Watching your kids grow up is pure bliss. Tracking the husband’s career and watching him succeed also brings a smile to your face. But there is also remorse - that you worked so hard only to give it all up. That your life is not really your own. That you have lost yourself in the stress of everyday life. 

And then the 40s happen. 

And at 43, I can safely say - these are the best years of my life. My kids are fairly grown up and while the set of issues are different now -  raging hormones, academics and their futures, I am pretty proud that I have brought up secure, happy , good individuals. The physical demands on me are less - I don’t have to chase them to feed them, bathe them , watch over them constantly. 

And there is something about the hormones at 40. A little devil-may-care attitude that creeps in . I don’t really give a damn what another person thinks of my life journey - it is mine alone. I feel I have earned my place by working hard and gained enough experience to be able to face the world head-on. I am not so easily bullied by the sully shopkeeper  or in awe of anyone with money or power . I have confidence enough to demand what I desire. I am less bound by the conventionality of a corporate career  - and can follow my dreams.

I am not that young any more to be checked out by men, and that brings with it the freedom to be me. If someone hits on me, it does not creep me out any more - the tackiness of it is amusing. I enjoy the companionship of my female friends and my bonds with them are deeper than ever before. At this age, all of us share similar life experiences - including the dreaded mid-life crisis! I love my male friends coz we are not objects of desire for each other any more. 

There is an urgency - that this decade is the one in which I have physical energy and mental alertness and therefore I have to achieve a lot. So I want to work a lot - doing all the things I ever wanted to do and I want to travel a lot- go to South America, Alaska and hike , walk and camp!I want to run the marathon !

And maybe, one day, when I am patient and not so restless, I will write a script for ‘Turning 40’...and make a movie of it! Or maybe it will be ‘Turning 50’ , if I am lazy enough!