Who is a VIP??

I am feeling a little short-changed. I was born in the wrong country (am brown), in the wrong social class (middle class) , to the wrong parents (my parents are not politicians) , married the wrong guy (does not own a billion dollar business ) chose a wrong career (was forced to study) and am not good looking, sexy or slim. That effectively means that I will never be a VIP ! Such a wasted life!!
These are India’s VIPs….
1. The mai – baap – the politicians. They have the right of way, everywhere. Roads are cleared for them, flights delayed for them and newspaper articles that criticize them are quashed. They are super rich and the whole police force works for them. Until, they lose power. You really think Rahul Mahajan‘s addiction would have made it to news if his dad was still alive?
2. The film-stars – SRK is detained at Newark and even Ambika Soni reacts. SRK is ofcourse top of the rung, but even if you are an Amrita Rao, Ashish Choudhry, Neha Dhupia, you will get a special escort to Lalbaug Cha Raja and Siddivinayak temple. Not to mention good restaurant seats, special service at parlours and shops and VIP seats at kids’ school functions. And Shiney Ahuja is not a VIP; else he would never have been arrested on rape charges.
3. The Goras – It will be only a matter of time before they become our true masters again. At the airport , the custom guy will simper at the Gora and let him thru, while you are asked to lug the heavy bags thru the x-ray machines again. The Gora will get better service at a restaurant, theatre and the local grocery store. And in our own country can turn around and snub us down.And we explain it away by saying ‘athithi devo bhav’. But this does not apply to blacks and yellows who visit our country. Only to Hillary didi and hottie Angelina Jolie!
4. The models –check out the dudes who come to the gyms. At Leena Mogre’s, you know there is a minor VIP when Ms Mogre comes to the gym early in the morning and clucks over the VIP. And these VIPS do not take gym membership but their presence is supposed to ensure that the gym’s membership will increase. And the makeup is full on for photo-ops!
5. The dieticians/ personal trainers who help stars – Boy, that is the new generation of VIPs! They titter on TV, give knowledgeable interviews on TV and charge thru the roof for consultancy. And if you are a menial mortal like me, paying that much money will not ensure any service! Check out what Rujuta Diwekar charges now after Kareena Kapoor made her famous!
6. The big corporate giants – There is nothing that these BIG guys cannot get. They have body guards, film stars and politicians who fawn over them! And you would do well to follow their escorted cars in peak traffic. The traffic police will salaam you towards speedier return home! They get special escorts at airports with all the officials falling all over them for alms.
7. The ‘slumdogs’ – They can stare at you with impunity and strip you naked with their blatancy. They can brush past you and make lewd gestures. But you will not want to take a panga with them.Coz they can molest, rape, throw acid and/or kill you!
Please God, in my next birth, change some of my circumstances so I can also be a VIP!!!