Nani

Udai was about three months old on his first Holi. I handed him over to my Nani, his great grand mother ,so he would not get too messy while we played Holi. I happened to look at them and saw my Nani looking gleeful with a bottle of beer in one hand and Udai on her lap. Delightedly she told me that she had just fed Udai his first sip of beer! And I should definitely tell him that when he grows up!

That image of Nani is frozen in my mind. And represents to me all that this spunky lady is. She turns 88 today. She has seen her world go topsy turvy - forced to leave her homeland, lost her young daughter, lived with debilitating asthma , gave birth to a late born daughter (she never realised she was pregnant and thought it was gas!) ,lived through the death of her husband, celebrated the happinesses of all her kids, birth of her grand kids and now the huge bunch of great grand kids. And today she is frail of body, but as Nishna puts it - she has the sharpest brain!

My grandparents lived in West Punjab and during Partition, Nani camped out on the terrace of their bungalow among vats of boiling oil to be poured on Muslims in the neighbourhood who wanted to carry away the beautiful Rekhi girls. My grand-dad managed to extract his whole family from there and bring them across the Wagah Border since he was in the Army. Then he went missing for 6 months and during this time, Nani refused to wear white or behave like a widow because her heart told her that he was alive and would come back home.

Once she was not allowed to enter the house because she had tea with the Muslim CO’s wife and had to take a cold bath in the outdoors before coming in!She was smart and beautiful but headstrong and would not learn English though my grand-dad kept urging her to do so!

Nani’s world fell apart when my grand-dad passed away 25 years ago. And she stopped wearing pink coz my grand-dad had loved her in the colour and she looked most gorgeous in it.

Nani has changed with the times - whereas my Mom was not allowed to even talk to the friends of her brothers, Nani has been enthu about the relationships of all her grandkids and great grandkids and we have all shared many confidences with her. She tells us all to live fearlessly and follow our hearts and dreams so there are no regrets in life.

She loves to dress up well and is vain about her jewelry. She loves to try new foods. At this age too, she travels everywhere - to her sisters and brothers , to Mumbai to us and to my cousins in the Mid-East.

Thanks to the foresight of my grand-dad, Nani is financially independent and this gives her the dignity and confidence to live her life like the proud woman she is.

Nani couldn't care less who the PM of this country is. What concerns her is what each of her children likes to eat and what is bothering them in their lives. She loves to have her whole family over and fusses over all of us.

I wonder sometimes what she thinks about? About her childhood and all the carefree times she had? About my grand-dad and the companionship his death robbed her of? Of her near and dear ones who have passed on? About her kids and whether they will all be together forever? I wonder if she feels lonely.

We are all blessed to have her in our midst. She is the fevicol that holds the whole family together. And she is the one who has instilled the love and value for family and relationships among all her kids. And one hug from her frail body tells me that there is hope and happiness in everything in life.

Happy Birthday Nani!