Of gym ‘buddies’!

I love going to the gym. Not because there are hot bodies there, but because there will always be that one weird person who makes the workout so interesting. I typically only run on the treadmill , so between changing speeds on my workout and desperately being brave about killing myself, I occupy myself with my fellow members. The treadmills are in front of full length mirrors , so I get a good view of the whole gym and its occupants. And observing them relieves the tedium of running.

(Ofcourse I hate and envy those men and women who run on the treadmill with grace and ease while I struggle and look like a scene myself! )

Most of the gym members are regular people who come, workout and leave, but some are real specimens.

Like the guy who comes to the gym in his boxer shorts. And its not just any boxer shorts that he wears - but Playboy ones. I wish some one would tell the dude that boxer shorts and that too the Playboy variety are not gym wear.

Or the guy who huffs and pants so loudly in the gym that you would think he was on the verge of a huge orgasm. It might have been a pleasant sight, but he is as ugly as they come.

Or the hunk, whose wife is now used to his awful body odour and therefore errs in telling him to wear a deo. He stinks from a mile and on days that he is on any of the treadmills, I escape to the upper floors and am content on the elliptical.

Or the dude who is always flexing his muscles in the mirror and preening. And the peacock explores all parts of his exposed body - biceps. triceps, ab muscles, hamstrings etc etc.

And the idiot who uses every machine for exactly 5 minutes and has not lost an ounce of fat (nor gained any muscle ) in the three years since I have been watching him.

The couple that believes that those who sweat together, stay together. So there is a happy cozy scene played out as they lovingly help each other with weight training. Sickening.

And the woman who thinks that the trainer is her best friend and back slaps and giggles and talks loudly. I have no problem with over-friendliness - but your own trainer in the gym!!! That’s a bit hard to digest.

Or the young girl who wears red inner wear under her white gym clothes and the day her boyfriend and she have been passionate enough, makes sure that the world sees her love bites.

Or the woman who wears a golden garter belt and flaunts it and her haughty attitude with great aplomb.

Then there is the son of the politician/builder/ mafia who comes with his set of bodyguards who are stationed at all exit and entry points .The poor fellows look so bored and one of them also holds Baba’s protein shake and bananas.

And the ultra-marathoner who wears a snow jacket and a bag full of weights and walks on the highest incline on the treadmill with a mask on his mouth coz he is training to trek to the Mount Everest base camp this year.

Or the really fat ones, who eat an apple/banana/protein bar in the locker room , chug, huff and pant at 4 kms an hour and then eat some more coz they are so fatigued.

And ofcourse, the true eye candy are the Brazilian models who come to the gym. They are so gorgeous looking that we all feel like lesser mortals. They are super fit and work out hard. Many a member forgets his own workout to track theirs. (Actually, I forget to change my speed on the treadmill too-they are such a pleasure to behold).

I know none of these people by their names and I bet I won’t recognise them outside the gym either. Little do they know how much pleasure they bring to my boring gym workout!!