License to Rape

So another girl gets raped in our capital city and is dumped to die. And there is outrage in media on the gross crime and what will be done to bring the perpetrators of the crime to justice. 

And , being a woman, and the mother of a young boy and girl, I don’t get the outrage. 

As I see it, this is something that the society encourages - in its feudalistic bullshit manner. We pamper our sons and turn a blind spot to all their shortcomings;  we treat them like demi-gods because they will be the ones that will provide for us when we are older. In many households, young boys are not encouraged to lift a finger to help and are waited on hand and foot. They get the lion’s share of the goodies instead of an equal share to the daughter. They are allowed to stay out till late at night and parents express helplessness that they do not know where their sons are. A girl-friend the son brings home, (or likes) is branded fast and chalu. Most of the times, the girl he likes will not be the one he will be allowed to marry because she is loose charactered enough to go out with the son. The daughters-in law are lucky if they get a favourite dish cooked for them, but the sons-in laws are pampered silly -even if most of them have a chip on their shoulders. 

We are the ones who teach our daughters submission and docility. We teach them to cover up when they go out. We teach them to not look available - to not be outspoken , to not have boyfriends , to have none of the experiences they must have as young girls. They must save their virginity for the husband  and if they have not, they must pretend he is the only guy.  We tutor our girls that when they are married, they must be sweet and pliable to take all the crap that the inlaws may dole to them. They can work if they are ‘allowed ‘ to, they can wear clothes if they are ‘allowed’ to, and they must make the marriage work - else they will be penniless, homeless and family-less. And because the parents are lucky to have found a guy who considers their daughter good enough for marriage, they will also give gifts and a dowry to keep them happy. 

Indian boys grow up thinking they are Little Emperors and the world is out there for ripe pickings. And mostly , this translates into getting women. Since the society does not permit a normal interaction between boys and girls, there is an obsession with the other sex. Girls are taught to suppress this , but boys are not. Most Indian boys  lack social skills (and frankly most of them are not passably hygienic or good looking). So the first recourse is to drool over porn magazines and movies. For most badly brought up boys  the only way to attract attention is by eve-teasing. And since, the rest of the society minds its business when you are harassing a girl , you naturally move to the next step of touching-feeling. If you are a group of guys, then, egged on by others, in peer pressure, you will end up raping. What better way to prove you are a man? And desirable? And have the power to make the woman submit?

So how about ensuring that we bring up our boys well? How about teaching them that not only their mummies and female relatives, but also other women are worthy of their respect? How about teaching them equality with their sisters? How about letting our daughters lead their lives with freedom? How about not being hypocritical -and letting boys and girls interact and mingle and develop a healthy respect for each other?

Till we don’t do that, we should expect rapes, harassment, dowry deaths and many more crimes against women. 

And - if this does happen to any woman you know, well - just castrate the buggers. There is no need to wait for someone else to deliver justice.